Chapter 9-- They say that in the army....(part 2)

"Purple light,
in the valley
that is where, i want to be,
infantry,
close companions,
with my rifle and my buddy and meeeee.
SOC sibeh jialat,
IPPT,
lagi worse,
everyday,
doing PT,
with my rifle and my buddy and meeeee"

OETI( 16-06-2003--27-10-2003)
As the name OETI suggest-- only eat,talk and idle. This must surely be the most relaxing phase of my own army "career". Not only to we get to book out every day as it is also a stay-out camp, the training there is really laid-back and relaxing as we practically go to camp for chit chat session and to eat the fried chicken wings there(they used to sell one of the most delicious chicken wings) only. Nevertheless, it was here that I was "supposed" to learn how to repair and trouble shoot 'A' vehicles' problems although I still feel like I learned practically nothing there. The vehicles there are all so-called "prostitutes vehicles" because they have been stripped and assemble so many times that most of its parts are loose and doesn't require much effort to remove or assemble unlike those in unit whereby sometimes you really have to use your "nine cow two tiger" effort to remove a bloody component. The instructors are also generally nice people who jokes around with us and there was this master sergent Lau(although now he is a warrant officer already) who is really an old man 'kid' whose mind set I think is even younger than me. Miss those 4 and a half month of slacking....


46SAR( 29-10-2003--12-04-2005)

Once armour always armour.... This is possibly the place where I feel the most emotionally attached to since it is here that I spend the rest and most of my military life. 46 SAR(Singapore armour regiment) is the place where I learned to both love and hate. To be honest, it really brings me a totally new and different arrays of experiences quite different from what I experienced before coming here. If BMT is said to provide me with the infantry experiences, then 46SAR must be say to have provided me with the armour experiences. In particular, I must say that I am quite privilege to have the opportunity to participate in a few major events in 46 SAR that are and will always truly be memorable in my life.In fact, I am going to subdivide this section into more headings due to the enriching times that I spend here.


Low key period

Firstly, to begin with, I was assigned to repair Bronco company's vehicles by my workshop 2IC the day I arrived at the unit. My boss during that time were an plump indian man(Bala) and a "siao" chinese guy(Ke bing) who always cracked jokes. I also have 3 other colleagues working along with me with one(Loh) going to ORD soon( and which by right means that I am supposed to replace him), one(Eng Huat) who just come back from his studies and will also be ORDing in a few months times and one(Christ) who always enjoyed "bullying" me. This period could be called the 1st generation of the Bronco coy mechanic squad. As the time when I went into the unit was considered low key, we have plenty of time to fool around one another as there was practically nothing much to do since we do not have new batch of recruits coming in yet and therefore the vehicles seldom have much major problems as they do not have to endure outfield conditions yet.A normal day in camp includes completing with the then support tech-squad on who went for tea breaks first and gossiping during these sessions. All in all, this blissful period lasted for about 6 months.

BMT mono-intake

With the arrival of the new recruits, my destiny took a major turn as it signify the start of the high key period. I was involved in both the PTP and BMT mono intake mainly as some sort of RP role( I was assigned to help my S2 branch) as I am tasked to check vehicles entering the camp for security threats such as bombs and to direct vehicles to the appropiate places. Then came the driving course at SOA which I had to attend to learn to drive the M113 vehicle in preparation for further outfield exercises when the BMT ended and the recruits were classified as armour infantry personnel. Lastly, I was also involved in my first ATP at Pasir Laba camp(i think) whereby they would be innumerable HUGH mosquitoes at night that really distract you. It was to be the worst shooting experience I ever had as I was totally a bobo shooter during that time as I just couldn't rise to the occasion as I did during my BMT which is to CONCENTRATE.

High Key Period

Things really started to get into gears when the recruits have POP. A number of drivers and VCs were posted to Bronco company and were therefore be working alongside with us tech squad since they themselves have to help out with maintening their own vehicles such as BOS and 50th or 100th hour servicing. They are also expected to know how to perform some minor repairs on their own such as changing of tracks and wheels. All these are crucial for their "survival" outfield as they cannot afford to always wait for the tech squad to arrive to solve their vehicles' problems as it would seriously tamper with their operational missions. The first real outfield exercise begin with an "outing" at area D whereby the whole battlelion was involved as we learned how to set up the camo-net for the various vehicles and to learned some basic outfield techniques. This is to prepare us for future outfield exercises and oversea trainings. The first major exercise that I can still remembered is a 4 days 3 nights exercise(should be at battlelion level) at area D whereby I truly had my first opportunity to work along side with Bronco company outfield and man that was quite tough as I still had difficulty setting camo-net at night and having to follow my company flight of vehicles at night. Luckily, the path at night in Singapore forest are still quite visible so I do not have much problem with that. However, I was, unfortunately bitten by sandflies(which was by the way my first time!) when we have to help Attila company towed out one of my coy vehicle.


Exercise Wallaby

Exercise Wallaby was carried out for about 3 weeks during October in 2004 at Australia Shoalwater Bay in a small town called Rockhampton and prior to that trip, lots of preparations were carried out to ensure that we could enter the country as it is said that that the Australian are quite particular about cleanliness and they do not want us to introduce any forgein materials into their country. Therefore, vigiorous inspections were carried out by the senior commanders to ensure that that our stuffs were quite free from mud, dirt and dust. All these means that we have to ensure that even the bottoms of our boots are kiwi black so that it looks clean and new SBOs are given to us to spare us the trouble of washing our already battled SBOs. A briefing at ATC was then conducted to help us have a feel of what Wallaby have in store for us and all the precautionary actions that we should take to ensure our own safety.
The training at Wallaby was in my opinion really tough as it involved the whole battlelion when carrying out missions.( luckily I was not the advance party or I would have to set up all the tents) Our base camp at Shoalwater Bay is at Sam hill where delicious 'super" dogs and flies can be savour. Here, we have one of the better toilet facilities where we can bath and do "big business" although if you want to bath, you would have to collect water either warm or cold from the tap first before pouring it into a large pouch fitted with lotus head. This means that we would have to bath relatively fast otherwise the water in the pouch would be emptied as there is no way that we can control the flow of water from the pouch as the loctus head cannot be fully closed. It is also here at Sam hill that we prepare our vehicles before they move out as the next time they returned to Sam hill would be when the whole exercise had ended. It is also the base for GSMC people to work on some of the more major faults of the vehicles.
The first night outfield at Wallaby was especially memorable because it had just rained that faithful afternoon and it was freezy cold at night even if our jackets on. I was practically shaking from head to toes thoughout the night as we set up our camo-net in the freaky cold and dark forest. The ironic thing is that during the briefing, it was told to us that the weather would be sunny and warm as it is summer time in Australia but yet it rains quite a few times during the whole of our training there and I really hate the rain as being VC of the recovery vehicle, I was not shielded from the rain unlike those people in BV206 and the weather would also get fucking cold(not those rainy temperature we get in Singapore) even in the day.
Halfway though the exercise, we camp at Dion camp before continuing the second part of the exercise. Here, all the vehicles were checked by us and any problems rectified immediately before embarking. The one important thing worth mentioning about Dion camp must be its toilets as unlike Sam hill toilets which have flush and everything like what we have at home, the toliets here are really one of the more primitive types whereby there is a small hole just big enough for our ass and of course there are no flush( it is said that that there are shit-eating worms beneath). Basically, you yourself have to cover up your shits with the sawdusts provided just outside though I have to admit that I never do that because just too lazy lah. Dion camp is also the place whereby we can finally have a respite from combat rations as fresh rations were provided for us. We can also buy the popular "super" dogs from the vendors when they come to visit us occasionally.
The second part of the exercise was also spend outfield as the battlelion go about doing its missions which are typically attack,defend and delay missions. The last exercise was the live-firing exercise whereby only the junior regulars and NSFs tech squad were involved as part of the CSS. Only one vehicle(from Bronco haha) was completely down and have to be towed back otherwise the live firing exercise would be a perfect ending for all our training. Hmm remember that we were towing back the vehicle in the evening with the sun starting to set down and all I was thinking of during that moment was how the R&R would be like.
With the end of the training came the highly anticipated R&R. Unlike most of the combatants who spend their 1 night stay in a motel, we were treated to a really posh resort-like villa with a nearby beach and swimming pool. It was really one of the most comfortable "hotel" that I had even been and it was a bit if the pity that it was only for 1 night. As we booked into the resort during the afternoon and that is no other official activities til the next morning, we have quite some time to plan what we want to do for the rest of the day. In the end, we decided to just chill out in one of our room with a few packets of potatoes chips and beers but the trick was how to get these items. As it is famously known, Australia stores closes quite early and we have to find out the nearest place to get these items. In the end, we( Dong Yang, Ah Lau,Ah Kong, me and I think Yong Jian) hopped onto a free shuttle bus from the resort that brought us to a small town where we brought all our items. We also discovered that that is this particular brand of honey soy favour potato chips that was so tasty that I brought quite a few large packets home from one of the supermarket there. The official R&R started with a trip to a place like tourist attraction whereby we have our lunch in a buffet-like style. This was followed by a trip to a shopping mall in Rockhampton whereby we have a few hours to shop. Here, I purchased a billabong wallet for myself and also for one of my friend whose birthday is also coming during that time. The memorable R&R ends with a hunt for the lengendary target supermarket whereby one of our senior whom have been to Wallaby before said that we would be able to buy an extra long Toblerone. Seaching through the sheets fractically with time running out, we finally manage to locate it although we later realize that the extra long toblerone was really well, hust made up of a few normal toblerone arranged in a linear line... So much for all that effort of finding it...However, at least it does drawn attentions from some ignorant people and even from one air stewardness for me!


LRI/ 4 NTM

Our annual LRI during 2004 was held in Demember in conjuction with 4 NTM after our trip to Wallaby so you can imagine how sian it is to have to work overtime again within such a short time frame. Nothing much to say about this 2 events except that for LRI, we score a low result after one of the inspectors found out that we were hiding spare parts in one of our BV206. The exact details I not sure because I was on leave during that day haha. Oh ya, also during one faithful night during LRI when both my IC and 2IC were busy repairing one of the SM1 vehicles, I was so tired that instead of helping them, I sneaked off to a bv206 and hide inside there to sleep. For 4 NTM, the various company except Scorpion rotates to do standby duty. we just have to ensure that our full pack is there and to do BOS and some minor repair only everyday since the vehicles used in 4NTM were supposed to be already in tip-top conditions and ready to move outfield anytime should the need arises. The troubleson part is that we have to book in and out of the vehicle shed during that time but fortunaely, we were not activated.


Exercise Babina

Exercise Babina was held in India and instead of being on a battlelion scale, it was only on company scale. Therefore, I followed the Bronco company which my tech squad is based on to India in February after Cheethas company had completed their training. Unlike Australia where stringent measures were taken to ensure cleanliness of our items, India do not have this rule so we were spare the prospect of cleaning our items. The training at India also were not that tough compared to Australia because we do not have to set up camo-net(finally!) since most of the exercise were be taking place in desert-like place with no forest cover.Also, unlike Australia whereby there were lots of movements, the exercise in India were mainly live-firing and so to tech-squad like us, we do not have to move much since we are only stand-by during live-firing. In fact, we have so much free time during training that we were always playing card games and cooking maggie mee to satified our hunger instead of eating combat rations. Haha perhaps it is here that I developed a liking for luucheon meat since we were eating so much of it during that time. The facilities at India were also slightly better than those in Australia beacuse we finally have bunks to sleep in at night and proper toliets with warm water and shower heads! Perhaps it was also because I was so in ORD mood during that time that I really heck care quite a lot of things like repairing vehicles. In fact, my responsiblities during that time was only to be the driver of our recovery vehicle and to ensure that our recovery vehicle is in good conditions.
However, unlike Australia, the R&R in India were also considerately less fun mainly beacuse the rest of the companies tech squads were not there and that only the Taj Mahal stands out as the only place worth visiting. Also, it could be that the effort used in training in India were so much less than that in Wallaby that you do not really feel the instant relaxness. Finally, there was really nothing to shop in New Dehli...at least in parts where we visited. I bring back almost all the cash I brought there less those that I spend on a few packets of potatoe chips and bottles of pepsi.


Conclusions
The 2 years and 4 months that I spend in the army were really in a way very meaningful and memorable because I really do learned quite a lot of things inside there from the moment when BMT starts right to my ORD day. The valuable experiences were really also worth all the blood, sweat and tears and I relish these experiences so much that if you ask me if I willing to go through all these again, I would have say yes.


"Booking out,
see my girlfriend
saw her with another man
KILL THE MAN!!
rape my girlfriend
with my rifle and my buddy and meeeee.
Purple light,
at the warfront
that is where,
my buddy dies
if i die,
would u bury me with my rifle and my buddy and meeeee"

Yours Sincerely,

Yongster

Chapter 8-- They say that in the army....(Part 1)

"They say that in the army, the food is very nice, but when you ask for curry chicken, they give you chao da rice. They say that in the army, the guns are very fine but when you pull the trigger, the bullet fly behind..."

Above is an extract of one of my favourite all-time army songs. Yes looking back, all these songs surely stirred up some nostalgia feelings within me.(After all, the two years and four months are certainly my most colourful period of my life up till today) Therefore,today, I am going to dedicate this blog entry to my previous army experience.( so expect it to be really looong)

PTP/BMT (13-12-2002--28-03-2003)

Ah... who can possibly forget their BMT period as it is the very first time that we really came into contact with the military life. For me, BMT is certainly a tough yet interesting period as these are the times where I did things that I think I would never ever have a chance to do again in my entire life. But before I head into BMT proper, I think that it is worthwhile that I mention about the PTP period also as it is the time where a weakling like me who cannot run, pull and jump prior to entering the army was slowly transformed into one who can run and pull( but still have difficulty jumping lah). Also, the PTP period was really a blessing in disguise as it help our platoon to bond with each other better before BMT started and also to give us more time to mentally prepare for the even more strenuous BMT by observing the other companies who are undergoing BMT. In addition, our sergents will also briefed us from time to time what BMT entails so that we would not have a culture shock when we finally enter the BMT phase. For those who still do not know the different between BMT and PTP, PTP is simply a phase for us to build up our physical fitness( because we failed to obtain a silver pass during our JC nafra test) so that we would be able to handle the physical demands when BMT started. At such, most of the time in PTP phase involves lots of exercises from running(and lots of it!) to gyming to circuit trainings and interval trainings( both types of which I hate as it is damn bloody tiring). There is little or almost no military training as it would only be introduced to us during BMT. The only types of "miltary training" we had during that time was only marching around in the parade square under the bloody hot sun for our drills and SOC training during the final phase of PTP(and oh yes, 4km route marches too). In conclusion, PTP really helps us to move smoothly during the transition phase when we finally started our BMT proper.
During BMT, the amount of physical trainings started to tone down as most of the time are now spend outfield either in the forms of route marches, bayonet training(and yes! We are the last batch of recruits receiving that), grenade throwing training or SOC. Personally, the actual grenade throwing was especially meaningful to me in the sense that unlike other outfield activities such as route marches and marksmanship test which I still encountered after BMT, grenade throwing was really a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me(although I really pity those who have the rare chance to throw blind). It will always remain I think the first and final grenade that I throw... Another memorable experience for me was the bayonet assult course in which we are the last batch of recruits to complete it. Before going through the course, numerous lessons on the various fighting techniques were taught to us though now if you ask me about it, I would have forgotten most of it liao. The bayonet assult course was memorable in the sense that it was the very first time prior to the battle innoculation course whereby I had to do so many back crawls( and the bare wires are really low!) and leopard crawls and getting myself all muddy all over and oh yes! the very first time when I learned how to camoflage my handsome face. I remember vividly also that right after the course, we were due to book out and being the still inexperienced recruit that I was, I did not removed the cream on my face totally and while on the journey home in the train, a army personnel(I think) pointed out to me that the cream behind my ears were not removed! Could you imagine how embass I were during that time?

Next was the battle innoculation course whereby a section of us including our sergents had to manuvore ourselves through a series of obstacles which involve back crawl and leopard crawl again though the bare wire this time round is really nothing compared to the bayonet assult course. Also, thanks to our seniors, the path for our leopard crawl were already "carved out" for us so it is not really that difficult to crawl. The only excitement may be that real bullets were flying above us so we had to constantly keep ourselves crawling to avoid being hit by the bullets.

Finally, the epitome of most people impression of BMT must be the field camp and sit test. Well for me, the 7 days field camp was really nothing really tedious except for the fact that we have to constantly powder bath ourselves and to keep a vigilant lookout for our sergents who were obsessed with stealing our rifles or magazines during that time especially at night. During the field camp, we learned how to camoflage ourselves from head to bottom and of course the fire movements whereby we learned the various hand signals so that we can communicate with each other when moving from place to place without talking. It was also the first time when we had to totally rely on our combat rations to survive so in a nut shell, it was still a pretty amazing experience for me. Furthermore, our company recruits were lucky for the fact that we do not spend all our nights during the field camp outfield as two of our nights were spend under shelter houses due to heavy rain and our kind company 2IC( talk about being in a warrant officer company!) decided that the ground were not suitable for us to sleep on at night.
For the sit test, the only things worth mentioning must be all the stupid long walking from one point to the next when the next destination was just well, next to us. The so-called reason given was to assess who still possess the leadership qualities despite being tired so that he can be selected into either OCS or SISPEC. Needless to say, I was cursing and swearing while walking from point to point( or was I too tired to even do so?). Anyway, what is more interesting is the various missions given to us to complete it whereby each of us will get a chance to become the IC or 2IC for that particular mission. It really train us and forced us to come up with solutions among our group members although all of us come from different platoons. This is to test how well we can work with strangers or people that we do not know well. The end of our sit test was marked by a buffet dinner in conjuction with our OC night.
Rounding up the whole BMT experience is the unforgettable 24km route march that took about 7 hours to complete from evening till midnight about 4am. Unforgettable in the sense that it involved not just individuals company but all the companies in the whole school that is due to POP the next day. It must be the grandest affair of the whole BMT training for all of us are in such high spirits and frankly speaking, I was a bit sad when it finally ended for it also marked the end of the last training with all my platoon mates for these 4 months. Also. although it was supposed to be the longest and therefore most tedious of all route marches, the 24km route march was not that tiring at all possibly because we marched in the cool night and our field bags were not really standard full pack(haha at least for my company lah).


3GSMC(05-04-2003--15-06-2003)

After my BMT, I was attached to 3GSMC while waiting for my mechanic course at OETI to start. Here, I basically help them to do some admin stuffs since I was still not train to help them repair vehicles. It was also the first time whereby I get to taste the life of stay-out personnels since the company had no bunks for us to stay in. I was also lucky to be able to make some friends(like Yong yuan and Chong Han) there who are up till now still in contact with me. More importantly, it give me an idea of what 46 SAR is like as it is just next door and is a unit which I was posted to after my training at OETI.


"They say that in the army,the girls are very nice,u ask for cindy crawford,they give u frankenstein, They say that in the army, the pay is very nice,they give you 3 hundred 50, they take back 3 4 9,
I... dont wanna lead an ar...my... life! PC i want to go, OC don't let me, gomama.... I want to go hoooooo..ooooo.ooome"

To be continued....


Some army abbreviations: BMT: Basic military training
PTP: Physical training phase
OETI: Ordanace Engineering training Institute
3GSMC: General service maintanence company
OCS: Officer cadet school
SISPEC: School of infantry specialist
SOC: Standard obstacle course
46 SAR: 46 Singapore Armour Regiment

Chapter 7--"zhen xi"

On this Vesak day, let talk about "zhen xi" or treasuring things.

1.) Family members
Now although I know that it is politically correct to say that we should and must treasure our family members, I really admire those who really really did. For me, it is extremely difficult not to take my family members for granted.Perhaps it is because that I am not the sort of people who can just hug my parents and say I love you! without feeling goosehumps all over my body. In fact, I feel that it is easier for me to convey my love through actions rather than words. For instance, I prefer to help out with the house chores and to just forged ignorance when my mum is nagging at me to prevent the situation from getting worse rather than losing my saliva to talk back. In fact, I feel that it is very fake whenever I see people on tv saying those types of lovingly words to their parents especially on occasions like mother's day etc.. However, do get it straight also that I totally do not envy those people who have the courage to say those words because well, I guess that it is just not yongster habit to do so. I could still vividly remember the uneasy feeling I felt when I overheard one of my friend calling his mum "mimi" over the phone. For goodness sake! MiMi! how could he bring himself to say this word considering that he isn't really young anymore? Of course one of the reason my friend would have easily countered back is that it has already become his habit since young and that I do have any right to "destroyed" this wonderful relationship with his mum. Anyway, it is really none of yongster business that they are such a closed knit family and I do hope that they will be able to continue such "closeness" for he can become a mummy's boy for as long as he like.
Therefore you could see that I am really not an expert on family relationships because I have to admit that I do not really shared tight bonds with the rest of my family members. At home, I seldom communicate with them unless it is necessary to do so for I just find it so hard to search for a common topic that we could discuss. At such, how do you expect me to treasure them when one of the pre-requsite of treasuring something is that we must at least like that thing very much? Hopefully, as I matured more in the future, I would be able to find more reasons to treasure my family members as I am fully aware that as children and siblings or even as realtives we should not take them for granted as they are usually the ones that are there for us when we fall deep into the valley.

2.) Friends
Again, hand up those who do not take their friends for granted. Well for me, the degree of taking friends for granted are at least not that strong as which I feel for family members. In another words, friends are actually quite important to me for they are also the ones who are most likely able to share similar experiences with us. What do I mean? well unlike family members, friends are the ones who would most likely went through thick and thin with us in schools, in army or in work place. When we think of a particular period or moment in our life, we would most probably also thought of the friends that suffer with or bring joy to us during that period of time too for they are the ones who went through the same path with us. Therefore, I do take each and everyone of my friends seriously regardless of whether they are those who are still in contact with me or those who have come and go for everyone of them leave an unerasable print in my memory.

3.) Health
Finally this is something that I totally do not take for granted and will always treasure it for as long as I live. Yet, it is also health which I feel that many people especially a majority ofyoung people like us who is taking it for granted and not treasuring it until something terrible happen to it. Based on my own personally experiences especially when in the army, I could not and still do not comprehend how people can be so proud of their health "handicapped" just so that they could skip certain more strenuous activities like outfields or IPPT etc. For me, I feel that I might as well chose to fail or do poorly in these activities rather than to compromise on my own health for really, what could you do without good health? Therefore, although you people could be saying that I am proud when I say these words, I would however want to stress again that I would NEVER downgrade my pes status just to avoid the annual IPPT or any other outfields activities during my reservist years.
Yes, I am proud to be pes A, what about you?

Chapter 6-- Don't anyhow say....

Below are some of the phrases or more appropiately words which I feel that we should not just say it without giving it more thoughts.

1.) "understand"
Do not anyhow console other people by using this word especially when you yourself have not encounter such situations before. These could be in circumstances when someone's loved ones or pets have died or simply when someone have met with an unpleasant situation. It is because although you can always try to understand their feelings, you will still NEVER be totally able to understand it. Even if you have encountered similar situations, remember that the situations are however NEVER identical becuase different people have different perceptions to things that may seem very similar. For instance, even if you have lost a loved one before and someone you know is currently grieving about the loss of their loved ones, you would still be unable to totally understand their feeling because the degree of attachment could very well be different no matter how slight thay are.

2.) "never"
Very simple to understand why-because "never" may jolly well never occur. There is also a saying that that is no forever friend or enermy in this world implying that in this ever changing world where anything could happen, nothing could be guaranteered forever. Before the september 11th incident, who would have thought that the issue of terrorism would resonance so strongly 6 years down the road?

3.) "regret"
What the point of dwelling on something that you know will not change? Regret is a very negative word that often creep up on people rendering them depressing and helpless. However every regret is also at the same time every lesson learned so do fully make use of whatever regrets you have to improve upon yourself.

4.) "if"
Same as regret, it is simply to late to want to change things now. Just accept whatever the results are and move on with your life. Remember that life is unpredictable and there would be be too many "if" in life for us to ponder over so we might as well save those unnecssary time and spend those time on something more meaningful and productive. Remember also that you aren't no god so stop blaming yourself for all the bad choices you have made in your life time.

Chapter 5--Living life to the fullest

Recently,while watching a tv programme on a lively discussion on the amount of money working children give to their parents, a fairly interesting topic on living life to the fullest was broached. The children argue that the main reason that they are reluctant to give more of their salary money to their parents is because they would want to live their life to the fullest. That is, they prefer to use more of their salary on material items or touring around the world which will keep them satisfied and truly happy. Now, this is not a debate on whether these group of "children" are filial or not but more of the kinds of principle they live their lifes on. How many of us have actually seriously thought of living our life to the fullest? Normally the response we get from people when we ask them how is their life lately is usually answered with either a nonchalent or really helpless " pass one day is one day pass lah". So what is exactly living life to the fullest? Is it simply to constantly keep ourselves happy by doing things that we like or is it to do things that are deemed meaningful and which will truly enriched our lives? Let us just take a look at a seemingly simple issue like saving money. Those who advocate living life to the fullest might argue that it is meaningless to save large amount of money just to enjoy life when we retire etc because life is so unpredictable that who knows one day something fatal will just happened to you and you won't have the chance then to even enjoy the "reap" of your hard work. It is interesting also to note that it is usually the young people who habour this type of belief. On the other side of the coin, older people like most of our parents would usually advise us to cultivate a habit of saving money to prepare for "rainy days". Imagine that you really live your life to old age but yet have spend most of your fortune when young. How terrible would it be then to realize that you are left with practically nothing and that your own children are reluctant to give you money because they want to live their life to the fullest? Yes, it could very well be a vicious cycle if we are not careful with it. Perhaps the only consolation is that at least you have truly live your life to the fullest from young.

Having say that, how important then is living our life to the fullest? To me, it is very important although I have not really thought about or understand fully how to really achieve that goal. Although I feel that it is fundamentally important to engage in activites that we like such as touring around the world or even simply learning things that we enjoy or even to fulfill our thrist for material things, I feel that it is also vital to engage in meaningful activities that allow us to connect with our society or even the world. In another words, though I really also hope to be able to tour the world one day, I think that it is nevertheless important for me to at least participates once on activities that could bring joy not only to myself but also to others. Even though I have always envy and admire other people who fly to other countries to lend their hands to less fortunate people or during times of diaster, I often found myself procrastinating without any valid reason wherever I am given the chance to do so. It is a strange feeling because though you wanted to do it, something is just holding you back. I believe that it could most probably be that I am still not totally ready and committed to do this type of things but I really hope that one day I would be able to totally able to "let myself go". In fact it is not the only thing that I found myself "holding back", I have always also wanted to learn more about computer applications or to learn more about cooking but I have also always give excuses such as no time or money to "console" myself even though sometimes deep down in my heart I know that it is untrue. Perhaps it is what the chinese have always say"li bu cou xin" meaning that even though one had the heart or desire to do something, one does not yet have the abilities to do it.

Regardless of whatever reasons I had given above, I do seriously hope once again that I would be able to truly do all the things that I desire so that I can have no regret in my life. Perhaps that will be the complete definition of what living life to the fullest meant to me-living life without regret. Although I am still working hard towards reaching this goal, I do wish that eventually I would be able to attain my goal.

So have you live your life to the fullest yet?

chapter 4-When the dust have settled

Yesterday marked the end of Singapore general election 2006. For me, this year general election is very special in the sense that it could possibly be the first and last time that I get to vote. In a way, I am thankful to the WP for giving me this rare chance to vote as my constituency- Ang Mo Kio GRC has never been contested till this year. Although already a regular follower of news, the thrill of being able to vote had caused me to follow news of rallies and the speeches given by the various parties even more religiously. In this year election, I am particularly interested to find out the results of Potong Pasir and my own consituency. Potong Pasir interest me because I am curious as to whether the residents in Potong Pasir will be able to resist all the temptations rolled out by the PAP government and also will the residents continue to support their 'old' MP Mr Chiam See Tong who have been with his residents through thick and thin for a staggering 22 years! The result released yesterday however has once again reaffirmed Mr Chiam position in the hearts of the residents there as he won about 55% of the vote(even more than the last election!) showing that "heartware" is certainly more important than "hardware" for the residents in Potong Pasir even with the support from SM Goh for the PAP candidate Mr Sitoh. As for my own constituency Ang Mo Kio GRC, I personally feel that the young team of candidates from the WP are least already worth crediting them for the fact that they as a first timers actually "dared" to challenge the PM, Mr Lee Hsien Loong team who prior to this election has never been challenge before. Whatever the reasons given by the WP for fielding this young team, I think the residents here are just grateful for the chance to finally being able to vote. The chance to vote however has prompted me to think of issues that I would never have thought of before such as whether I would want to give the opposition a chance to manage our estate. To me, although the PAP have the fund to upgrade the facilities in the neighbourhood, it is still nonetheless important to have oppositions in the parliment to keep the government in check. What is more important is the fact that how many of us would want to(or should I say are willing to)sacrifice facilities upgrading just for the sack of sending a opposition or a team of opposition to the parliment? I think that in this aspect, I could be quite selfish in the sense that although I really want at least an opposition in the parliment, I would be very hesistant to vote for them if they really come to contest in my constituency as in this year scenario. In another word, although I want opposition to be present in the parliment, I would very much rather prefer other people in other areas to send them into the parliment while I can continue to enjoy the "privilege" of being in the dominant party ward. YES, this is indeed a selfish and even self-centred notion that I haboured and I am definitely ashamed to admit it.Therefore, in a way, I really admired the courage and decisiveness of the residents in both Hougang and Potong Pasir who have repeatly"sacrifice"themselves for the benefits of Singaporeans although the credits of their MPs should also not be neglected.

Having said that, you could imagined how difficult it is for me to make up my mind who to vote over the past few days and to be honest, a decision was made only on the polling day itself.On one hand, I would want to acknowledge the contributions made by the PAP in my ward over the past few years but yet on the other hand being a fervent supporter of giving people chance, I also want to give the WP a chance to prove themselves and also to laud their effort of daring to fail. As to you guys wondering where my vote goes to, let's just say that it went to the party whom I certainly think deserved more!